


Heavy In Your Arms

by etoilecourageuse



Series: A Heavy Heart To Carry [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Best Friends, Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Community: purimgifts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Silence, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etoilecourageuse/pseuds/etoilecourageuse
Summary: Pansy covers herself in silence, and Daphne is tired of waiting.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flipflop_diva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/gifts).



> And this marks the final day of PurimGifts! Let me just say again that it was a huge pleasure to write for you, and I really, really hope that you enjoy this small series - discovering Daphne and Pansy's friendship is honestly one of my favourite things to do! <3

They had not spoken for weeks. It was strange to Daphne to be alone, strange not to know her best friend constantly by her side, as during their time in school they had been sheer inseparable, strange to send one owl after another and never receive a response. They had not argued the last time they had seen each other, had not parted ways in conflict, and yet… Yet now there was silence. Nothing but silence. 

She worried, worried for Pansy, had often considered to pay her a visit, unannounced in case she were to be consoled with the brief promise for a cup of tea in the future. Perhaps she should, perhaps she should visit her truly, perhaps this was her only chance to see her, to speak to her, to ensure that she was all right. 

All right… Could she truly be all right after the war’s events, could she truly be all right when to her the oppressing uncertainty had not faded even when peace had come, when still she could not possibly know about her future, when within her home the constant concern remained? 

She was alone. Pansy was alone, alone to care for her parents who had lost themselves in the war and would only slowly recover, alone as too many of her friends had turned their backs on her as soon as they had learned of her family’s ordeal, alone as she would refuse to speak to those who remained, whether out of shame or exhaustion she did not know. She was alone… And not even Daphne seemed to be capable of reaching out to her. 

But she was tired. She was tired of waiting, tired of her own uncertainty, tired of worrying… She was tired of merely imagining what the past weeks and months had done to Pansy, imagining the toll they must have taken of her, tired of… She was tired. 

Night had long fallen when Daphne wrapped her cloak tightly about her body, slipping out of her bedroom unseen and unheard, as though it were a secret that she intended to leave her home at this time of day, as though it were a crime to visit her best friend. She dared not breathe as she Apparated nearly in silence, her hand trembling as she reached for her wand to trace secret runes into the air that would unlock the gate of Parkinson Manor, to step into the property like she had done so many times before yet never so afraid. 

Daphne was not afraid of Pansy’s anger, was not afraid of rejection but merely of what she were to find there within the house, of _how_ she were to… Her steps were heavy as she headed towards the staircase in silence as though it were her own home, as though she were not merely a guest, an intruder, a privilege she had earned over the course of the years. For a moment, only a split second she would halt in the corridor, hesitate… But no. 

Pansy did not seem at all surprised to see her as she opened the door to her room upon Daphne’s quiet knock, would not speak and would not rage but only silently gesture her to enter. She looked tired, tired as though she had not slept for several days at a time, yet there was something else within her expression, something Daphne had never seen before, something that frightened her, that… Sadness. There was such sadness… 

She had always had a heavy heart to carry but merely laughed at any inquiries whether she was all right, denoting them ridiculous as of course she was, had never allowed anyone to see her true self, not even Daphne… 

At times she had wondered whether she truly knew Pansy, whether she had ever known her at all… But why would it matter now? Why would any of it matter now, now that she looked at her and for the first time…? 

Pansy was not all right. She was not at all all right and wasn’t only fatigue that marked her face, it wasn’t only a brief spell of sadness but so much more… 

Still, they would not speak. Still they would merely sit beside each other, sit in silence as they had done so many nights, gazing into emptiness. Still they would not… But it was different. It was so different now as the silence was not soothing as it had always been, as Daphne felt such a despairing urge to speak yet knew not… It was so different… 

How many times had Daphne attempted to reach out to her in moments she had believed for Pansy to need assistance, how many times had she been pushed away… Until one day even she had ceased to ask the question. Until one day even she… 

Daphne would not ask even now, would not look at her but merely reach out her hand to seek hers, slowly at first, hesitantly, half-expecting to be pushed away as she had often been when seeking her touch… But no. Pansy would not push her away, not this time, would merely intertwine their fingers into one, gently squeezing… She would not push her away… 

They remained in this position for what felt like hours, and indeed, dawn would slowly break as Pansy turned her head at last to look at her, to look at her with such intensity, her dark eyes nearly piercing through her. Daphne trembled, once again incapable of reading her expression, dared not avert her gaze… 

She gasped as Pansy released her hand then, startled by the sudden motion, gasped as so quickly she flung her arms about her neck, collapsing heavily within her arms, her entire body shaking… 

There were no tears and yet she seemed to be weeping, yet in this moment she seemed to break down beneath the burden of silence, beneath the burden of strength… 

She had been strong for too long. Pansy had been strong for too long, had given her comfort over and over yet until this day never received any for herself… She had been strong for too long, had hidden her heart away for too long and nearly fallen apart, but not any more… Daphne knew that from now on she would no longer hide, knew that this embrace, this embrace that seemed to never end, was a vow, a silent vow that never again Pansy would expel her from her life and emotions, that never again she… 

They had overcome so much together, had spent the final night of the war within the dungeons, holding hands almost like they had now, had overcome so much… And as long as they were with each other they would overcome the shadows of the war, too, as long as they were with each other they would overcome the darkness at last and step into the light. As long as they were with each other they would banish the ghosts from their lives and find peace.

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
>   
> 


End file.
